we have pet lesbian snakes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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