Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
