I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
