In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
