you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
