Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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