new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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