ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
