so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
