this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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