i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
