you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
