I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
