In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
