drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
