Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
