I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize