suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
