so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
