I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
