I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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