You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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