did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We were destined to go to rehab together
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
