yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize