i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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