we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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