so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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