So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize