Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
