We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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