Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
