Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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