I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
