Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
