im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize