fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize