Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
