HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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