Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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