the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
