Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
