I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
