if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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