i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
