Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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