i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
