eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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