Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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