New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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