i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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