So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
