After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
