I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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