he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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