Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
