Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
