I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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