we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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