I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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